As thoughts slowly turn towards spring, it has occurred to me that I’ll need to break out of this winter hibernation and join the rest of society in a bit more of a productive manner. Winter has provided me with a long overdue stretch of solitude that I’ve spent holed up in one place or another creating, reading and in deep thought struggling to find what will surround my heart with love. A sustainable love that comes from within, that gives a true sense of self, strength and purpose. It was there at one point, but my sense of self is evolving and at a rapid pace.
This deep seeded need and love of all things creative has taken over my being. It’s been thrilling to discover, or shall I say, re-discover [after all it was there shining through in little ways all along]. As thrilling as it is though, there is a flip side. In throwing my hands up to the creative Gods and taking a leap of faith without knowing where it’s taking me, I’ve become terrified, frustrated and at times paralyzed by the not knowing. You see, for the past six months, there has been this unwritten, unspoken agreement with myself to drift for a while. See where the inner current goes.
It was fun while it lasted, but the current is slowing down, letting me know what it is that will surround my heart with love. The love that makes it scream, ‘YES.’ Yes. That’s exactly what I need and want to fulfill my days. As I work towards this, a heartfelt thank you goes out to all of you who take time out of your busy days to pop over and sit with a cup of tea or coffee and even send me a thoughtful note. Your friendship keeps gently pushing me towards my ‘yes.’